Missing in Action

I guess I've been so slack lately and not updating since my surgery 3 weeks ago. The surgery went well though it was not something I like to remember again.

It wasn't pleasant at all but it was the only choice if I ever wanted to get back to my normal life again. I mean 3 months of carry a broken arm right before surgery was a torture already. It was not an easy journey thus far to be honest. Days leading to the surgery was a mixture of feelings. I remember waking up some nights gasping for air because I suddenly had a panic attack. I felt I was trapped. Other times I wake up crying for no reason. I guess people generally do not talk about their emotions when they are dealing with a broken bone. I know I'm not going through cancer or anything. I am still alive after all. I lose my mum to cancer and so I know because I was with her throughout the whole journey.

Right  back to what I have intended to write! Actually I was meant to share my days after surgery. All I can say is it was a blur for the first 10 days. Right after surgery, I was really really unwell. I had shakes and bad bad nausea. Also, I couldn't pee though my bladder was full ! It was really uncomfortable. The surgical site was not as painful for the first 12 hours but when the pain kicked in, it was full blown. I had muscular pain from my shoulder, elbow and surgical site. At one point I couldn't differentiate which part was the pain coming from. I mean the whole arm was painful. Not to mention, I couldn't walk due to the bone graft on my pelvis.  I tell you that was aching and throbbing like crazy once the pain killer wore off.

I don't mean to scare anyone but I feel I should share this with people out there with a situation like mine who wants to know or prepare themselves. Speaking from personal experience, I was pretty anxious and did not know what to expect before the surgery. I knew no one who had gone through anything like mine and I couldn't find anything online to give me a piece of mind.

I hope this is helpful. I don't mean to scare anyone and I understand everyone deals with pain differently. I only meant to share what I went through and my emotions at the time.

By the way, I am still in rehab trying to move my locked elbow and shoulder. Seems like the pain is here to stay.

Honestly, I recommend seeing a shrink if you have problems coping. I feel I am at the verge of getting one.